Sex Does Not Drive You: Men in Love Part 2

There was a time when I thought that sex was a drive. Sexuality as something that drives behavior is the pervasive understanding of sex in psychology and our culture. As a man, as most men, there was a time when I thought that sex was driving me too. Now I know that this simple idea is wrong and damaging to all of us. Sex is not a drive. Many of the men I see do not question sexual desire or its function. To them it simply is, it simply exists … Read More

Fearing Loss, Losing Connection: The Joy of Being Close Part 2

The truth is that loss is a part of life. It is as important as love, as important as security, as important as holding on to the things we value. Accepting loss gives us the power to change. If we accept the inevitability of loss, we free ourselves to feel vulnerable. And if we free ourselves to feel vulnerable, to fear losing, then we empower ourselves to examine what must change. And when we examine what must change, we enable the possibility that we can hang on to those we love. When we change, we heal. And when we heal, we love harder and longer and better.