There was a time when I thought that sex was a drive. Sexuality as something that drives behavior is the pervasive understanding of sex in psychology and our culture. As a man, as most men, there was a time when I thought that sex was driving me too. Now I know that this simple idea is wrong and damaging to all of us. Sex is not a drive. Many of the men I see do not question sexual desire or its function. To them it simply is, it simply exists … Read More
The truth is that loss is a part of life. It is as important as love, as important as security, as important as holding on to the things we value. Accepting loss gives us the power to change. If we accept the inevitability of loss, we free ourselves to feel vulnerable. And if we free ourselves to feel vulnerable, to fear losing, then we empower ourselves to examine what must change. And when we examine what must change, we enable the possibility that we can hang on to those we love. When we change, we heal. And when we heal, we love harder and longer and better.
I can speak to therapy as a professional (and I often do, as my friends, family, and partner will probably roll their eyes and tell you), but sometimes the most interesting perspective on the process can be offered by clients. Therapy can indeed be an intimidating endeavor. Many clients have expressed that just the thought of opening up to someone unfamiliar prevented them from coming in sooner. I decided to dig deeper into this perspective, and I was especially curious about what male clients experience. After all, we do live … Read More